I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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