do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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