Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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