so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
