Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
