I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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