i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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