Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
