Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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