I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize