I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My life is pants optional.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
