I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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