the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize