You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
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Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
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I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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