I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
