I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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