You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize