dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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