He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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