There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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