We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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