Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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