last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
