Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
