he thought i was a dude.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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