"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
