therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
