I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just sucked dick on a ferry
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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