Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
