dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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