omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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