I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize