Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Say something about gay babies.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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