So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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