can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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