Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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