im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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