Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
