Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
