we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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