I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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