I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
