In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
