I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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