There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
