i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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