We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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