There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
