I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
