Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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