i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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