i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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