i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
