Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
