Your face is a jimmy john
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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