Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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