well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
