So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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