Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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