Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
