ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
